#arz voice

[arzeron]

My voice overlaid upon HL soundtrack

[aroaceweirdos101]

The whiplash I got when I went to check on the Solarballs tag after going through the Inanimate Insanity tag

[sexymancatalogue]

Tumblr Sexyman Of The Day #168

Glitchy Red (Friday Night Funkin': Hypno's Lullaby, 2022)

Art by @static-arz!

Art by PogArtist on Newgrounds!

List Of Archetypes

Angst

Distinctive Voice

Eye Imagery

Glitching

Quotable Catchphrase

Tall

Theme Song

Unkempt

Villain

Hot Headed

Retro

Urban Legend Aesthetic

Submitted By @cartoonishreal!

[ask-post-ii17au-box]

We understand, right Arz?

Yeah yeah, I'll just go prepare my detective suit and magnifying glass while we wait-

Good.

If anything happens I’ll update as fast as I can as it’s all I really can do as I’m currently a literal disembodied voice.

[beneaththemultiverse]

Hey Dogfish! How are you doing?

Any recent AUs that were forgotten?

Arz-

What?

“I have been well, voices…. And yes… there was.. a new forgotten universe…. The Wally.. just recently passed… actually….”

*Dogfish gently cradles the body of a Wally variant as he says this, one that seem to wear a trench coat and a belt that held various items, such as crosses and wooden stakes.*

“He called himself… Walter…. He was a vampire hunter….”

*Dogfish tilts his head slightly to another body, one of a Barnaby. The Barnaby seems to have ruffled fur, wearing a cloak of some sort.*

“His Barnaby.. was a vampire… so the two of them… could never be real friends….

Walter.. tried to hurt me when I came to him, actually…. He probably thought I was an enemy…. But when he grew tired… he relaxed against me…. He just told me his name.. and some parts of his past….

… It is.. moments like this where… I wish there is an afterlife… so Walter and other people like him.. could start over a little bit…. So he can be happy.. just a little bit….

Heheh… that’s kind of silly.. isn’t it…?”

[battyaboutbooksreviews]

🦇 We Hunt the Flame Book Review 🦇

❓ #QOTD What was the last epic fantasy you read? ❓ 🦇 People lived because she killed. People died because he lived. Zafira is the Hunter, disguising herself as a man when she braves the cursed forest of the Arz to feed her people. Nasir is the Prince of Death, assassinating those foolish enough to defy his autocratic father, the sultan. If Zafira was exposed as a girl, all of her achievements would be rejected; if Nasir displayed his compassion, his father would punish him in the most brutal of ways. Both Zafira and Nasir are legends in the kingdom of Arawiya--but neither wants to be.

🦇 War is brewing and the Arz sweeps closer, engulfing the land in shadow. To save her family, Zafira embarks on a quest to uncover a lost artifact that can restore magic and stop the Arz. Nasir is sent by the sultan on a similar mission: retrieve the artifact and kill the Hunter. But an ancient evil stirs as their journey unfolds--and the prize they seek may pose a threat greater than either can imagine. Will they make it out alive, or find something more than the prize they were sent to find?

💜 Mashallah! I'm going to try and HORRIBLY fail to convey my love for this book (you can totally tell I'm a writer some days, can't you?). We Hunt the Flame is everything you romantasy lovers could ever ask for with an eloquent grasp of language most writers could only hope to achieve. Hafsah Faizal's Middle Eastern-inspired fantasy transcends pen and page. Her characters are brutally flawed, aching with familial pressures, loss, and pain, clinging to thin threads of hope for more; each with unique voices, motivations, and quirks that bring them off the page and into our homes (and hearts). Your feet will crunch over the ice of Demenhur, traverse the Sharr's forestry, tiptoe across glossy tiled floors of Sultan's Keep. With every breath, you'll smell kibbeh garnished with mint or the zest of Kifah's rich spices over rabbit, taste the tang of zataar or rich qahwa against your tongue. You know I love when stories make a character's culture relatable through food, but reading We Hunt the Flame had me craving ma'amoul and katayef in the worst way. Okay, getting side-tracked.

💜 If the vivid imagery and powerful prose don't capture you, the characters will. Zafira is burdened with responsibility yet forced to hide her identity as a woman under a hook and cloak, presenting her accomplishments as those of a man. She feeds her entire village, expecting and receiving nothing in return. Her heart is heavy with grief and guilt--much as Nasir's is. That parallel creates a foundation for their slow-burn romance, their chemistry undeniable but their sense of duty, guilt, and heavy hearts getting in the way. Oh, and Nasir was sent to kill Zafira, so that's an issue, too. (Sneaking back into this review after reading We Free the Stars: khara, it gets SO MUCH MORE INTENSE!!!). They're snippy and bitter with one another, those quick barbs adding to the tension between them, and yet there's a spark of mutual respect and understanding they've never found in anyone else. If you love an "I hate everyone but you" kind of romance, this is it!

💜 Speaking of snipe, Altair. Sweet baby boy, his sass is EVERYTHING. Altair and Nasir's bromance (*coughs*) is an enemies to besties mess in the making. Alongside our other side characters, Benyamin and Kifah, these five create a found family "zumra" you'll absolutely adore.

💙 My only issue was the pacing, slowed due to the amount of introspection. Zafira and Nasir aren't the type of characters to talk out their feelings with others; of COURSE they're going to internalize everything. While I recognize that this was the only way the story would work, it did cause the story to drag at certain points. I also guessed at a few things, but Faizal sprinkled the breadcrumbs of her story with care, creating an intricate tapestry that unites the zumra and their individual threads into a singular epic.

🦇 Recommended for all romantasy fans, namely fans of Ember in the Ashes, Rebel of the Sands, The Wrath & the Dawn, Spice Road, and The City of Brass.

✨ The Vibes ✨ 🌙 Young Adult Epic Fantasy 🏹 Sands of Arawiya Duology 🌙 Magic 🧭 Assassin/Huntress Enemies to Lovers 🌙 Lyrical and Spellbinding 🏹 Arab & Muslim Inspired/Writer 🌙 Dual POV 🧭 "I came to kill you but fell for you" 🌙 Slow Burn & Super Angsty

✨ Acclaim ✨ 🌙 An Ignyte Award Winner 🌙 A TIME Magazine Top 100 Fantasy Book of All Time 🌙 A Paste Magazine Best YA Book 🌙 A PopSugar Best YA Book 🌙 A TeenVogue Book Club Pick 🌙 A Barnes & Noble Teen Book Club Pick

💬 Quotes ❝ "A life with magic means nothing to me if you aren’t in it." ❞ ❝ A thousand leagues and a thousand sands. For you, a thousand times I would defy the sun. ❞ ❝ We hunt the flame, the light in the darkness, the good this world deserves. ❞ ❝ Everyone has a turning point. A breaking point, too. ❞ ❝ A life without purpose may be no life, but a life without love is nothing but an existence. ❞ ❝ His voice was a caress. It lilted across the length of her name, tasting it. Teasing it. She wanted him to say it again. And again and again. She wanted him to do to her what he had done to her name. ❞ ❝ 'All right’ is when you’re bleeding black but it’s not as bad as bleeding red. When the world crashes but you’re not alone when it does. When the darkness is absolute but you hunt down the smallest flame and coax it brighter. When you carve the good out of every bad and claim it a victory. ❞

[maethinks]

Friendship pt. 2

This is a continuation to something I posted before, called friendship. So here it goes

Aradhya ticked another day off the calendar hanging on her wall and sighed. Only one month left before she went and started a new journey. University. It felt like a big thing- it was a big thing, something which would alter her life forever. 

She turned away from the calendar and walked towards her bed. It wasn't that late but she didn't have anything to do so she decided to sleep. She was doing her skincare when she heard a thump, she poked her head out of the bathroom to see, but nothing was out of the ordinary. She squinted her eyes in suspicion as she returned to what she was doing. There was another thump now, she cursed and left her skincare in between, washed her hands and decided to investigate.

She stood in her room now, hands on her hips, as she looked around. Then, there it was again, it was coming from the balcony, her heart skipped a beat as she thought of all the possibilities. Could there be a cat? Or some other animal? A thief? A MURDERER? She pushed the thoughts down and walked towards the balcony.

She opened the door to a pebble hitting her right on the head, and screamed, then realised that other people lived there, put her hand on her mouth and screamed again, the sound now muffled. She looked down and saw Adi waving at her with an unwavering smile and cursed out loud. 

“What are you doing here?”, she asked him, while closing the balcony door, hoping nobody in her neighbourhood woke up. 

“Come down and I’ll tell you”, he said, gesturing to the ladder on the side of her balcony which had been there since the first time she had snuck out to meet him at the stupid age of 13.

“No”, she said simply, crossing her arms. She probably looked stupid and not intimidating with her big shirt, shorts, fluffy bunny slippers and the cat ear headband she used to push her hair out of her face while she did her skincare, but she didn’t care.

“Oh come on, I came all the way here and you’re not even gonna ask why?”, he said.

“I did ask, you told me to come down, and I said no.”, she deadpanned. “You think you can just come here at 10 pm, throw pebbles at my balcony door, and expect to not re-enact the Romeo and Juliet scene?

“Oh my god”, he said, putting his head in his hands. “I’m pretty sure Romeo and Juliet didn’t have this scene because balconies weren’t even invented back then”, as always correcting her about theatre facts.

“Well, you know the trope, so come on, make your own lines”, she said, getting in position.

“Ugh, why are we friends?”, he asked but shook his head and cleared his throat.

“Aradhya, Oh Aradhya, let down your hair…, oh wait that’s from Rapunzel”, he said, confusion visible in his eyes.

Ara touched her hair which almost reached her shoulders, and decided to control her laughter.

“Acha, arz kiya hai...”

“Irshaad”, she said, impressed by the dedication.

“Kuch karo fikar mujh deewane ki, dhum hai fir bahar aane ki”, he said with a bow.

“That’s from Layla and Majnun”, she said, remembering the time he used to make her remember his favourite quotes.

“You know I’m not good at impromptu stuff and this bow is very uncomfortable so if you would please hurry up and say something back, that would be amazing, thanks”, he said, his voice strained from the bow.

“I love you to the moon and to Saturn”, she said in the same loving tone and did a little bow for good measure.

“That’s literally a Taylor Swift lyric”, he said, now standing straight.

“I thought there were no restraints on poetry”, she said, as she went inside her room, got her phone, and keys, took the hairband off and put on her shoes.

“Well technically but-”, he started as she climbed down the ladder, but she stopped him with the finger.

“Shall we go now?”, he asked with the same mock bow as before, she slapped him on the head and ran away laughing as he tried to catch up.

…

“Now tell me, what made you think of me at this time?”, she asked him as they walked.

“Well, since you’re going to England to live with the colonizers, which was a joke for legal reasons. As I was saying, I’m going to make this your most memorable month, starting with today.”

“Fair enough, she said, “where are we going though?”

“Aradhya”, he faced her now, the excitement visible in his eyes, “We are going to get tattoos”

“Whoa whoa wait”, she stopped him there, “this is a big deal and well I haven’t asked my parents.

“Well, you turned 18 last Friday, so technically you don’t need parental consent, besides, didn’t you literally ask them that day?”, he asked.

“You’re right, and I have wanted to get a tattoo since forever.”, she thought about it, and remembered asking her parents about it last week, they had been cool about it and said she could get it done now that she was 18. 

“Well, any ideas then?”, she asked him as they started walking once again.

“Oh yes, I have a Vision with a capital V”, he said waving his hands around, as if he was trying to make her see what he had in mind with invisible diagrams in the air.

“So I’m gonna go in there, and get a SpongeBob tattoo on my ass and guess which quote I’m gonna use”, he wiggled his eyebrows at her.

She laughed and said “Oh my god, please don’t tell me you’re for real”

“I’m serious, come on guess”, he told her but he was laughing too.

“The smell one”, she guessed.

“BINGO”, he shouted, and decided to quote the line, “‘Did you smell it? That smell. A kind of smelly smell. The smelly smell that smells...smelly.’, is literally the most iconic thing Mr. Krabs said actually.”

They doubled over with laughter and when they finally calmed down, they talked about how Adi was definitely not doing that.

“You know what we should do?, she said, “We should not tell the other what we’re getting and do a grand reveal later. I think this is both a terrible and a great idea, what do you think?”

“Hmm, let’s see how this goes”, he said as they entered the tattoo parlour.

That’s how an hour later, they were both outside the tattoo place with a bandage covering their new tattoos, eager to see what the other got.

“So how are we doing this, do we count to three?”, Adi asked.

“Let’s just ‘rip the bandage off’”, she said, trying for some humour.

“That was so lame”, he told her and said, “Ooh okay wait, how about we take each other’s bandage off?”

“At the same time though”, she told him.

Ara had decided to get her tattoo above her collarbone, and Adi had gone for the side of the neck. They closed their eyes and took the bandages off.

“1…2…3”, Ara counted, and they opened their eyes.

“Is that-”, they both started, shocked.

“You go first”, Ara said.

“Can I touch it?”, he asked

“Go on”, she said.

He touched the tattoo and her eyes fluttered close. He breathed out and looked at her. “Please tell me this is what I think it is”, he said.

“Remember when you took that Taylor Swift lyric literally and drew actual stars around the scar I got from a glass on this same place? Well, I took a picture of them at that time so I had it with me right now.”, she told him. The scar was still there, but now there were permanent stars around it, all of different shapes and sizes, they looked like the night sky.

“Well you had just introduced me to her and even now after all these years, I’m telling you, Folklore is her best album yet but you’re still stuck up on Speak now.”, he told her.

“I will not tolerate this slander towards my purple heaven”, she faked being offended. 

“Well, your turn now”, he said, getting back on the topic.

“Can I touch it?”, she asked.

“Of course, why would you even ask?”, he said.

“Well you asked, so I thought I better ask too”, she said.

She touched the crescent moon, her drawing as familiar to her as the back of her hand. The moon had two heart-shaped craters, and filling the gap and making it a full moon was a daisy, her favourite flower.

“Didn’t I draw this for that campaign back in 9th grade?” she asked. 

“Yes well, even if the campaign didn’t go well, I loved the design, so even I took a photo of it at that time.

“Our minds”, Ara said, tears welling in her eyes.

“Hey hey hey, no crying”, he told her, but his eyes were full of tears too.

“Hug?”, Ara croaked out.

They enveloped each other in a hug, it was times like these when Adi was grateful they were almost the same height because he got to put his armour down and feel safe in her arms. She traced circles on the small of his back, just like he had months ago.

When they were done crying, they broke apart at each other with bloodshot eyes. Ara took his hands in hers and started to say something but Adi beat her to it.

“The moon might find its sun someday”, he whispered.

“And the stars might find their galaxy”, she whispered back, closing her eyes.

“But they’ll never forget”, he continued.

“The universe they built”, she opened her eyes now, holding his gaze with hers.

“Together”, they whispered at the same time. 

They stood there in silence, looking at each other. This lasted for 5 long seconds and then-

Laughter. Incoherent, deranged laughter.

“Why are we so cheesy, oh my god”, Adi said, tears streaming down his face as he laughed.

Ara was doubled over laughing, clutching her stomach, it was starting to hurt now with the way she could not stop laughing.

They calmed down, and though it took 3 tries, they were walking back to her house now, infectious smiles on their faces. 

Somewhere in the way, Adi slowed down, the smile fading from his face. They stopped at a streetlight. “You know, maybe the stars won’t find their galaxy, maybe- maybe they're better off alone”, he said, his face serious now.

“I know”, Ara looked at him softly, understanding visible in her eyes. “And that’s absolutely fine, so don’t let anyone tell you otherwise”, she hugged him again as he closed his eyes and let himself feel safe again.

[poeticpebbles]

Never had this ardour before:

But isn't it precise?

The way melodies of my heart;

At your single glance,

Are being harmoniNever had this arzed.

I rarely tune the strings of my eyes,

But you seem to be the tuner,

Which unintentionally improvised.

But a good music;

Can't be created without,

Rhytm, voices, that doesn't symphonised.

Maybe my composition for you ;

Is just a noise.

Maybe I'm an Indian rages,

To your Jass.

- Kriti

[theindyreview]

Live Report: Just Like Heaven 2024

Live Report: @JLHeavenFest #JustLikeHeaven proves to be just that for its #millennial festival attendees @DCFC @PostalService @realwashedout @MiikeSnow @wearephoenix @teganandsara @arzE #livemusic #festival #indie #indierock #2000smusic #CSS

Just Like Heaven is a single day festival at the Rose Bowl in Pasadena, California. It has a knack for bringing in acts from the 2007ish era of indie music. It’s kind of remarkable how the festival producer, Golden Voice, was able to find so many great bands that defined what it meant to be a coming-of-age millennial. From that core of independent music, the festival sound bleeds into the…

[mysticmiav]

Just finished the book and I have mixed feelings akdkkskd

Here are my two cents on it;

Spoilers ahead!! I've marked them with square brackets and italics and emojis ⚠️[like this]⚠️ just in case you wanna read the rest spoiler-free general thoughts lol

Imma be completely honest here the parts I loved the most were Altair's and anything that had to do with him. He was genuinely the main reason I kept wanting to read more akfkks

Like yeah zumra restore them magic let's see that go fight guys go but Altair tho!! What's my boy up to

Litrly he stole the show in ever page he was on I love him so much

Other than that, most of the book felt a bit... slow? And not necessarily in terms of the plot, which was moving moderately. Like medium-paced imo, slower at bits but it picks up at others, and I personally don't mind a book that's a tad bit on the slower side, especially when I can see why and how things were taking time. It made sense for me that in the planning parts the flow of the story would slow down a bit, while in the excution of said plans the pace would pick up a bit. And so, the pace wasn't something I particularly minded or paid mind to lol

But when I say slow, I mean it more so in terms of the characters themselves. Their inner turmoils as well as their relationship. Zafira and Nasir am looking at you as a whole and Zafira am looking at you specifically

And I know it's important to let the character development (whether they are developing into better or worse) to take its time, but the struggle of just how to excute that without it becoming just so slow and unintresting to see.

I can't make up my mind on whether it was done well here or not.

Bits of it I'd liked 

⚠️[Zafira and the Jawraat, from the chaos and pain it caused to the hollowing emptiness it left and then the understanding and peace that came at last]⚠️

I also liked seeing Nasir learning to navigate his feeling, working around his guilt, from his kills and from all he had and hadn't done. How far he'd gotten from his self in We Hunt The Flame

⚠️[conditioned by his father/the Lion to never think, never speak his mind, never dare to want, to now wanting to, to now voicing his thoughts and facing his feelings]⚠️

But other bits felt a bit, idk, repetitive? Like sheesh some hundreds of pages later and we're still here?

⚠️[This is specifically about Zafira's whole inner turmoil over losing her sense of self and purpose now that the Arz is gone. I thought it was very intresting, and also very real because who wouldn't feel lost after the one thing they'd risked their lives for and the one thing that gave them a feeling of worthiness and value, was just now gone? I loved that, and I loved that in how frantic Zafira was to find a new purpose, she made mistakes and hurt herself and those she cared for.]

[But like, if I recall correctly, litrly 450ish pages in the same doubts were ongoing, the same thoughts and feelings leaving Zafira lost and feeling empty and am just like how are we ever gonna wrap this up and move beyond these hurdles, ya feel? It's so much to work through and it's been brewing for so long and yet we're nearing the end of the book skfkskkd it just left me confused, cuz again on hand I do know and appreciate characters being given the space and time to develop and change and find themselves, but on the other, one can question if they're given sooo much time it feels like it'll never actually be resolved.]⚠️

And then, Zafira and Nasir's relationship was killing me.

I'm all for slow burn, I love it. I still screeched every time their knees brushed or one felt the other's gaze on them. I died and screamed and rolled.

But it still felt a bit too, idk, unmoving at many parts. Like I love me a slow burn when you can still notice those small shifts and progress.

But for me it felt like 400 pages in, they were still in the same stage of neither saying what they want or think and knowing full well what they should be saying or doing but still not doing it cuz oh well maybe next time.

There was so much tension building up but so little relief and that felt so unrewarding to read i guess wifjwkkfje

I still love them don't get me wrong, and I do love the way in which each of them changed on their own, and how you could see that becoming a point in their relationship [Nasir allowing himself to want, to think he's maybe worthy of this, worthy of love, and on the other end, Zafira coming to love and learning of all the feelings love brought with it, the good and the bad, after a whole life of hating what "love" had done to those around her] but it just didn't feel like the sum of it was adding up to anything if that makes sense.

Idk. I just feel like something was missing and I don't know what exactly.

Love Altair tho. He was the absolute highlight, just as he was in the first book, and getting to read his thoughts was just the best thing ever.

Loved him and Nasir so much too. Their interactions were always so fun and packed with so many emotions and humour and pain and ugh I loved it all

Also. Am not gonna talk about Altair and Yasmine cuz I personally genuinely don't see it lol. Maybe if it had been given the time but with what we have, I don't really think much of it. Also am definitely on the Altair-Kifah ship since early on in the 1st book so yeah

Anywho I guess overall am mixed on this. On the highs *cough cough Altair* this book was very high and I was having such a fun time, and on the lows it really sunk and felt meh

I'll be honest WFTS feels too long and certain bits just drag on and on akfkskfke I'm honestly here for Altair and Altair only

[fangirl-everythang]

Smoke Break C. T. H.

Summary: At Calums' party he leaves for a smoke, y/n joining him later on. Some rando pukes on y/n leaving the two to get away. He maybe receives a gift.

Warnings: Swearing, Sex, Oral sex, smoking, mentions of alcohol.

Word Count: 3475

Calum's POV

Who the hell are these people? It's a party for me and I know no one here. Fucking great, Oh yeah mate, trust me it's gonna be HUGE. You'll love it. This is the last time I listen to Ashton. Do I look like I'm fucking having a great time?

We need to get him a girlfriend. They all tell me I need to settle but I'm known as the lone wolf it never works with the lifestyle we have. Well somehow Luke and Michael make it work but to me it's exhausting.

"Aye mate, having fun?" I turn to see dyed hair and I know it's Michael.

"It's fine." I huff as someone shouts happy birthday once more. I see Roy across the way with some chick and he shrugs at me. I would've just preferred to go see Mali but she's always busy now. I just look at Michael while taking a sip of the beer in my cup I've been on this one since this shit of a party started.

"It could be worse you know? You could-" He's interrupted by Crystal who leans up and whispers in his ear he nods and begins to grab her hand. "We're gonna head out she's not feeling well." He gives me a sympathetic smile. "Happy birthday." is all he says when they begin to leave the room. Welp, there goes another friend.

I haven't seen Ashton since the party started and Luke definitely is getting it in with Sierra right now. Literally, all over each other, it's truly disgusting if you asked me. Deciding to move away from this wall I head to the kitchen to throw this drink away, taste watered down because of the ice. Pushing through the moving bodies and the lights everywhere, I dump that shit in the sink. Ashton comes my way trailing a girl behind him, "There you are! Y/n showed up?" I see the hair of a girl just talking to someone who's just come behind her.

Y/n has been around us for a while. I don't know when but our friendship started after we met at a party. She was waiting for Arzylea to join her when we started talking. Next thing you know she was a part of our inner circle. Not gonna lie, She's my favorite person in the group. Everyone thought that when Arz and Luke broke up, she would leave too but she's still here. And she keeps that group chat very entertaining shall I say. We've hung out a few times, with her it's different though. I don't feel the need to be THE Calum Hood bass player for 5SOS, she knew of me but cared more for the person I was. She asked questions even though she knew the answers. I just felt relaxed with her. As more people entered the kitchen, I go to the back porch where I don't see anyone. There are too many people and I don't even want to think about how to clean this up. Pulling a cigarette from the pack I just let the smoke fill my lungs and slowly exhale while leaning against the siding of the house.

"You know that's an awfully bad habit you have Hood." The familiar voice speaks, forcing me to open my eyes.

I chuckle, "Why aren't you enjoying the party?" I ask her.

"Come on you know that's not my scene." I nod silently agreeing. She looks stunning, the way her dress hugs her body, she's so effortlessly flawless. Most girls have to go through a tribal ritual to look as amazing as her. "Stop that." she laughs.

I shake my head slightly to remember what I just did. "Sorry I-I didn't mean to um yeah fuck." I stumble for words she just nods. "It's okay.'' she looks down and fumbles with her hands. It's cute how she does that, almost like she doesn't know she's the most beautiful person in the room. A harsh gust of wind pushes past and she shivers. I look at her and open my arms with my jacket she rolls her eyes but gets closer. Holding the cigarette with my mouth to free my hands I just pull her closer until I feel the warmth of our bodies touch.

"Thanks" She mumbles against my chest. She looks up at me before pulling the cigarette between my lips, just as I'm about to protest she takes a puff. Watching her smoke is by far the hottest thing I've seen, and I've seen Luke naked.

"Oh look who's punkrock now?" I smirk at her as she brings the burning toxin to my lips. Her laugh. Sounds like fucking angels I can feel her chest moving through my shirt. "Can I be in the band now?" She raises an eyebrow.

Dropping the small bud I just laugh along with her. "hEYYY I'm serious" she wines.

"Sure you are." I smile at her.

"No offense Cal but your party blows." She looks at the lights jumping on the hardwood of the deck.

"It's more of Ashton's," I admit. One hell of a birthday. She wraps her arms around my waist and places her head on my chest. "Happy birthday Cal," she whispers.

"Thank you y/n." I can feel my pulse in my throat. Being with her makes me so comfortable but yet I feel like I'm on fire. She gets me like no one else could imagine. I place my chin on the top of her head and just hold her. I don't want this to end. "Did Ashton invite you?" curious to how she showed up. In the group chat she said she had plans this weekend. I was really disappointed because if it wasn't clear enough I like her a lot.

"Something like that." She reaches for her phone and scrolls through her text. "From Ashton at 6:58 am," she begins to read slightly pulling away to look at the screen between us. "Hey Y/n! know you're busy this weekend but that doesn't matter because Calum likes you and won't admit it but it would be cool as lemons if you could show up." I'm going to fucking kill him. I hope he likes his ashes being burnt with that fucking lemon tree. She smiles at me and I feel like I could evaporate right the fuck here. Oh Ashton. I will kill you. The door next to us opens and some random guy comes out drunk as hell. "Oh h-hey you three," His burp interrupts him, "It's a great party in thheere"

As he stumbles Y/n goes to keep him upright, but his body has other plans. The foul smell that comes from the vomit projecting on Y/n is awful. He apologizes but quickly goes back inside wiping his mouth on his shirt. "Are you okay?" I ask her equally as shocked. Her cheeks flushed in embarrassment, I grab her hand without waiting for a response and drag her inside. After her many protest and looks from random people that can smell the bile on her, we make it to the stairs. There are too many fucking people here. Constantly pushing past bodies I know none of these bathrooms are cleared. I walk her down the hallway to my bedroom door when someone interrupts me. "Dude, I've been trying to get in there all night. It's locked. Complete dipshit of an owner right." He smirks reaching for a high five. I roll my eyes at his gesture and grab the key to open my door. His smirk fades into one of realization. He tries to apologize but I shut the door in his face after Y/n follows me inside.

I take off my shoes and she looks at me questioningly. "I have a bathroom in here you can use Y/n." as I relock my door. The last thing I need is for some stranger to come messing with my personal stuff.

"You shouldn't have-"

"Shut up. Some stranger just threw up on you. I would prefer to be in here with you than out there where I don't know anyone. Now go shower." She starts to argue but I just help shove her in the bathroom while closing the door. She knocks from the inside of the door, "Yes Y/n?" I smile at her playful banter.

"I need help. I can't reach the zipper" she says through the wooden door. I release the handle and nod. right she can't see me. Opening the door I walk in, "So your plan was to lock me in here?" She smiles looking through the mirror at me while moving her hair to one side of her shoulder.

"Not exactly, I was gonna kidnap you later." I grab the small zipper and begin to undo it. No wonder who the hell can hold this tiny thing. Once I get it down she thanks me. "Just throw it away okay?"

"But-" I stare at her and she agrees. Closing the door to let her shower. Clothes, she needs clothes. I walk into my closet and grab a t-shirt and her emergency bag. She came up with the idea since no one knows how to bring clothes anywhere we all have one outfit at everyone's place. Thanks to Michael she had to wear the outfit here, but her undergarments are still there.

I knock on the door and she's still in the shower so I leave the shirt and the bag on the counter in the steamy room. Walking out I take off the skinny jeans I'm wearing and change into sweats and a t-shirt.

So many options. Who ever came up with Netflix is a fucking genius. My phone buzzes next to me and I see Ashtons Name. A text, great!

From: Daddy 1:17 am

Bryana's here. Gonna go Catch up.

I just send him an 'Ok' because we all know they're still stuck on each other and there's no way in hell I'm going down there. About 20 minutes into big mouth Y/n walks out of the bathroom wearing the clothes I left for her. No one's ever looked that good in my shirt, shit I don't even look good in my shirt. "Thank you Calum" she quietly commented. "No problem." I pat the spot next to me and she climbs in the bed. I hit play on the tv remote as the show continues to play. I can't even focus on the hormone monster on the screen, this feels so fucking right. I feel her playing with my hand as she watches the screen intently. Her brow furrowing when she doesn't get the concept of Jay being a magician or the way her eyes crinkle when she laughs. I could literally just watch her all day. I mean I know she doesn't like me but I can't help but imagine what a relationship with her would be like. I don't want to jeopardize our friendship but this, this feels more important. It's just not fair I mean there's tour and I wouldn't want to be away from her that long if she were mine. I don't understand how she's single I mean look at her. And you don't find many girls with a personality like hers, she's so kind-hearted and the most humble person I know. When we were in Bali, everyone went to this pool resort and we thought she went missing for the day. But she returned home after visiting orphanages and helping at the village day clinic. I don't want to be selfish but I'll be damned if I let her go. I'm so thankful for that girlfriend of Luke's to bring her completely unbothered, outgoing, and amazing friend with her to that club in New York.

"Did you hear me?" The soft voice brings me from my thoughts. I look down at her "No what?" She starts laughing. I see a black screen on the wall and look at her quizzically. She raises her hands in defense "It's been off for the past 15 minutes." she shrugs. "You looked deep in thought." I just stay silent and look up at the ceiling. ''You can talk to me you know?" she whispers.

"Have you ever wanted something you can't have?" I ask. She chews on her bottom lip before responding.

"I suppose, I mean in regards to what?" but I cut her off, "Why'd you come tonight?"

"It's your birthday." she states clearly confused. "Ashton's text doesn't bother you?"

"I didn't think it would have to bother me?-"

"You had plans."

"You mean much more Cal." I let her words sink in. Did she like me the way I like her?or maybe she doesn't and I'm really hoping for something? No. This could never work. I don't do relationships.

"Do you wanna keep watching? " I ask her hoping she'll say yes.

"That was the last episode" she says as she turns to me a glimpse if hope in her eyes. "We can just talk Cal."

"I'm actually pretty tired." She nods, a small frown on her face as she goes and turns the light off. "Night Cal"

"Goodnight Y/n." I whisper before pulling her closer to me. I feel her muscles relax and soft snores escape her lips.

* * *

The sun in the room feels warm against my skin. Opening one eye I see the contract of the bright light against the walls. As I go to move the curtains I feel a warm presence next to me turn. Well, fuck me. Her shirt came up just the slightest to exposed her black lace panties to me and damn is it a sight. Look away. Look away. Look away.

Physically getting up from the bed she pouts and rubs her eyes. "Cal? " her slightly rasped voice speaks. "Yeah just closing the blinds. "

"Can you leave it just a tad. " she ask pulling the covers over her. "The soft light is nice. " I mean I can't say no. "Come here. " she demands and I get back in bed with her. "I should probably start cleaning soon. " I say as a line ass excited to leave the room. All I can picture is how good she looked in these panties and I need to take care of this soon.

"No you won't, since when have you cleaned? Plus I told you I'd help. " my dick is straining against these fucking briefs.

She softly traces random patterns into my skin as we just lay there admiring the room. "Cal" she mumbles.

"You've got an uh-problem. " the blood rushes to my cheeks as she notices my boner. "Sorry i-" I begin to excuse myself from the room hoping a black hole could appear. That would be great.

Surprisingly enough she pushes me to keep me in place. "It just occurred to me that I never got you a gift."

She runs her fingers over my manhood, "Can I make it up to you?"

"Y/n I don't think-" Oh fuck. My dick twitched at the sight of her removing my shirt leaving me speechless. The black lace that clung to her, which landed us in this situation, looked even better than before. "Um you -uh" I start mumbling trying not to look at her body for too long. I mean I could but I'd cum no question.

"It's either a yes or no?" as I was about to answer she started running her hand along the thin black lines. My eyes never leaving her hand as she teasingly rubbed her clit through the fabric. "You see Cal, I want you as much as you want me."

Fuck friendship. I replace her hand with my own to feel her. Fuck how long I've waited to do this. She pushes my hand away from her core while leaving open mouth kisses down my jaw. Licking my earlobe, she whispers, "You're the birthday boy."

She scoots further down the bed until her face is near my groin. This is a sight I could get used to. She slips her fingers in the band and starts pulling my briefs down. Her eyes light up once she sees my throbbing shaft. "You have such a pretty dick." Her thumb runs over my tip causing me to shudder and if possible made me harder. "Y/n you don't have to." My voice cracking a bit, why the fuck was I so nervous.

She rolls her eyes as she kisses my tip her tongue licking along the vein. She slowly begins taking me in her mouth, "Oh fuck y/n" I moan as she swallows around me, her hand pumping what she can't fit all the way. Her mouth is so warm and she's so fucking perfect. My head hits the headboard as my other hand laces itself in her curls as she bobbed her head along my length, letting every sound fall from my lips. Accidentally I pulled her hair which I was going to apologize for until she moaned. The vibrations that sexy ass sound I thrusted up. Fuck no I want to be in her.

"Y/n stop." She let her teeth graze my dick as she moved her mouth off of me. My stiffened member glowing with her saliva.

"I'm sorry this was a bad-" She started mumbling getting off the bed and fixing her hair.

"No!" I yelled surprised at my own tone. "I mean um you're great I just- I want to be in you." The redness on my cheeks very visible. She hesitates before sliding her panties off, "We don't have to I'm sorry I just thought that's where this was going and I-" She kisses me softly and I shut the hell up.

"Calm down, I was just thinking." She says straddling my lap removing her bra. "And before you ask what about well," she lines me with her entrance "It was whether I wanted a condom or not." Our moans are in unison as she slowly slides onto me. Feeling her tight walls stretch around me, her dripping arousal glistening in the soft lights of the sun. The whimper that came from her mouth as she takes all of me. "I'm on the pill and it's your birthday meaning you get the full experience." She says after a moment of her adjusting, sending a playful wink my way. She begins to move and I swear no one has ever felt this good. My hands find their way to her hips slowly rocking her back and forth.

"Fuck Cal" She whimpers as she begins to ride me. I move one of my guiding hands to find her sensitive nub, tracing small circles with the pad of my finger. She jerks back from the touch causing me to smirk, someone's sensitive. I place my thumb over her sensitive nub yet again rubbing back and forth eliciting a moan from her. “Cal I can’t-“ Grabbing her hair pulling her face closer to me, “ You can and you will, got it?” She whimpers nodding in agreement, “I’m not cumming till that pretty pussy of yours is pulsing.” Slowly grinding my hips up, grazing her g-spot with my tip. “Cal-fuck, this was supposed to be your gift.” Grabbing the back of her thigh slowly bringing her body closer to mine, I turn us so she’s underneath me.

“Go out with me and we’ll call it even yeah?” I ask her before continuing to thrust into her. Our moans fall in unison as I pick up the pace. Thrusting into her faster than the time before, the only sounds heard throughout are those of our moans and skin clapping together. My mouth finds its way to her neck, assaulting the soft skin in the area- leaving a reminder for this evening. I can feel her tightening around me, edging me close to my own release. “Cal I’m close.” She manages to mutter as I find my way back to her clit, rubbing fast purposeful circles. Watching the way her pants and moans fall through her lips to the glistening of her chest as it rises and falls with each breath. The sight being enough to drive me to the brink of insanity, “Cum for me y/n.” Almost instantly her eyes roll back as she arches her back, her pussy tightening without mercy forcing my own orgasm to appear. My hips jut forward as I release into her , slowly edging us both along. Our panting is the only thing to be heard as a gently collapse on top of her. “Did you mean it?” She ask, moving the hair from my forehead.

“If you mean me asking you out, yes.” She smiles and pulls my face closer to hers. “took you long enough.” She whispers before attaching her lips to mine.

A/N: (Also posted to Wattpad) I hope you enjoyed it. I'm actually really happy, I've been doing quite a bit of writing so yay! We have another calum smut blurb on the way.I also need help deciding who's the endgame for my Loki/Bucky love triangle but all with time. Anyways I hope you're all having a wonderful weekend!

XOXO Janelle

[arzeron]

I was playing Skyrim, and Vex and Delvin gave me two back-to-back quests in Windhelm; pickpocket Aval Atheron, and steal an item from the Atheron residence. I decided to consult a wiki to learn a little more about the Atherons, as well as their residence, and found out that the UESP decided to straight-up roast these Dunmer. Please listen to my dramatic reading of a couple paragraphs describing the residence.

Read the article for yourself: https://en.uesp.net/wiki/Skyrim:Atheron_Residence

[richincolor]

Women’s History Month: SciFi/Fantasy Edition

For Black History Month I made a list of amazing scifi/fantasy novels by Black authors, so I thought I'd so the same for Women's History Month. I chose a mix of new novels changing the game and some of my old favorites.

I haven't read Iron Widow yet, but it is on my TBR list. I've heard nothing but good things about this novel and how much of a game changer it is.

Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao

The boys of Huaxia dream of pairing up with girls to pilot Chrysalises, giant transforming robots that can battle the mecha aliens that lurk beyond the Great Wall. It doesn't matter that the girls often die from the mental strain.

When 18-year-old Zetian offers herself up as a concubine-pilot, it's to assassinate the ace male pilot responsible for her sister's death. But she gets her vengeance in a way nobody expected—she kills him through the psychic link between pilots and emerges from the cockpit unscathed. She is labeled an Iron Widow, a much-feared and much-silenced kind of female pilot who can sacrifice boys to power up Chrysalises instead.​

To tame her unnerving yet invaluable mental strength, she is paired up with Li Shimin, the strongest and most controversial male pilot in Huaxia​. But now that Zetian has had a taste of power, she will not cower so easily. She will miss no opportunity to leverage their combined might and infamy to survive attempt after attempt on her life, until she can figure out exactly why the pilot system works in its misogynist way—and stop more girls from being sacrificed.

One of my favorite sci-fi/fantasy reads is a book that I've read over and over again because it's just such a beautiful story. This was Roshani Chokshi's debut novel and it left a huge impact. I've read all her books since then, and her stories have just gotten better but The Star-Touched Queen has my heart.

The Star-Touched Queen by Roshani Chokshi

Fate and fortune. Power and passion. What does it take to be the queen of a kingdom when you’re only seventeen?

Maya is cursed. With a horoscope that promises a marriage of death and destruction, she has earned only the scorn and fear of her father’s kingdom. Content to follow more scholarly pursuits, her whole world is torn apart when her father, the Raja, arranges a wedding of political convenience to quell outside rebellions. Soon Maya becomes the queen of Akaran and wife of Amar. Neither roles are what she expected: As Akaran’s queen, she finds her voice and power. As Amar’s wife, she finds something else entirely: Compassion. Protection. Desire…

But Akaran has its own secrets—thousands of locked doors, gardens of glass, and a tree that bears memories instead of fruit. Soon, Maya suspects her life is in danger. Yet who, besides her husband, can she trust? With the fate of the human and Otherworldly realms hanging in the balance, Maya must unravel an ancient mystery that spans reincarnated lives to save those she loves the most…including herself.

My good friend Haneen loves this book and raves about it any chance she gets. I happen to agree with her.   

We Hunt the Flame by Hafsah Faizal

People lived because she killed. People died because he lived.

Zafira is the Hunter, disguising herself as a man when she braves the cursed forest of the Arz to feed her people. Nasir is the Prince of Death, assassinating those foolish enough to defy his autocratic father, the sultan. If Zafira was exposed as a girl, all of her achievements would be rejected; if Nasir displayed his compassion, his father would punish him in the most brutal of ways. Both Zafira and Nasir are legends in the kingdom of Arawiya--but neither wants to be.

War is brewing, and the Arz sweeps closer with each passing day, engulfing the land in shadow. When Zafira embarks on a quest to uncover a lost artifact that can restore magic to her suffering world and stop the Arz, Nasir is sent by the sultan on a similar mission: retrieve the artifact and kill the Hunter. But an ancient evil stirs as their journey unfolds--and the prize they seek may pose a threat greater than either can imagine.

This new series by Maya Motayne is filled with so many plot twists that I say I will take my time reading the book but always end up speeding right through it. I loved the sequel and can't wait for the last book and see how the series ends.

Nocturna by Maya Motayne 

Set in a Latinx-inspired world, a face-changing thief and a risk-taking prince must team up to defeat a powerful evil they accidentally unleashed.

To Finn Voy, magic is two things: a knife to hold under the chin of anyone who crosses her…and a disguise she shrugs on as easily as others pull on cloaks.

As a talented faceshifter, it’s been years since Finn has seen her own face, and that’s exactly how she likes it. But when Finn gets caught by a powerful mobster, she’s forced into an impossible mission: steal a legendary treasure from Castallan’s royal palace or be stripped of her magic forever.

After the murder of his older brother, Prince Alfehr is first in line for the Castallan throne. But Alfie can’t help but feel that he will never live up to his brother’s legacy. Riddled with grief, Alfie is obsessed with finding a way to bring his brother back, even if it means dabbling in forbidden magic.

But when Finn and Alfie’s fates collide, they accidentally unlock a terrible, ancient power—which, if not contained, will devour the world. And with Castallan’s fate in their hands, Alfie and Finn must race to vanquish what they have unleashed, even if it means facing the deepest darkness in their pasts.

Another old favorite story where the mythology Cordova created was just so lush, so real, that I lost myself in the story. I ended up sharing this book with my students and they loved it.  

Labyrinth Lost by Zoraida Cordova

I was chosen by the Deos. Even gods make mistakes.

Alex is a bruja, the most powerful witch in a generation…and she hates magic. At her Deathday celebration, Alex performs a spell to rid herself of her power. But it backfires. Her whole family vanishes into thin air, leaving her alone with Nova, a brujo she can’t trust, but who may be Alex’s only chance at saving her family. 

[camplofi]

Radio BSOTS show #177 - pause. (for Jason Mizell)

All comments, questions, and general feedback can be sent to radiobsots@gmail.com.  Record a voice message and send it my way or leave one at the Speakpipe page!

You can subscribe to Radio BSOTS via the following options: RSS feed ||| Apple Podcasts ||| Spotify ||| Google Podcasts Amazon Music ||| Stitcher ||| TuneIn ||| iHeartRadio

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this episode's track list (title / artist / source / license):

1.  "Way Back When (Featuring Chuck D)" by Just Plain Ant [blocSonic] (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0) 2.  "30​:​5 / moonshine ft. chadah​-​hadassah" by Yashiyah [Bandcamp] (CC BY-NC-ND 3.0) 3.  "Larger Than Life" by Jazz One Beats [Dusted Wax Kingdom] (CC BY-NC-ND 3.0) 4.  "Jazzweek" by Arze Kareem [Jamendo] (CC BY-NC-ND 3.0) 5.  "Ignition" by Mute Speaker [Bandcamp] (CC BY-NC-ND 3.0) 6.  "91 NITES" by Tha Silent Partner [blocSonic] (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0) 7.  "Road Warriors" by The Impossebulls [blocSonic] (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0) 8.  "LoveSigns" by Makaih Beats [Free Music Archive]  (CC BY-NC-ND 4.0)

For the past two decades, "pause" merely existed as long-form commentary on the BSOTS website.  Roughly a week after Jam Master Jay's murder, the bile in my belly fueled a rant in my brain and it all came spilling out onto my computer keyboard.  More emotional than logical, it wears my sarcasm and cynicism like spike-studded armor.  I'm definitely in my "I said what I said" bag here, back when I had no problems taking an either/or approach when dividing music into rigid yet subjective categories like "commercial" vs. "alternative" and viewing hip-hop as if it were a sonic civil war with only two sides:  "conscious" vs. "gangsta."  I had one foot out the door of the culture and the music when I wrote this and it shows.

Creative Commons licensed tunes break up the commentary, featuring selections from netlabels like blocSonic and Dusted Wax Kingdom as well as cuts scattered across Bandcamp, Jamendo, and the Free Music Archive.  The blocSonic cuts include guest verses from Chuck D of Public Enemy and Darryl "DMC" McDaniels of Run-DMC.  The sound of dusty vinyl underneath certain parts of the commentary comes directly from a project entitled This Is The End, Beautiful Friend by File Under Toner.  The description of this project on the Free Music Archive begins with the following question:  "Are the hiss, crackles, and pops on records protected by copyrights?"  All of the featured sounds are from the locked grooves at the end of various records, which get messed with using delay, reverb and other audio techniques.  I thought that these works added just the right amount of tension at certain times, more than traditional background music would.  The locked grooves running into themselves in this circumstance just sound so stark, like it's occupying the space where Jam Master Jay's cutting and scratching used to reside.

I live with me all the time, enough to know that the longer I hold on to this episode, the more that my own doubts and anxieties will keep me from releasing it into the podosphere, so I have to let it go.  It's going to do whatever it does.  Here's hoping that you will give this one a shot and consider it time well spent.

ID drop courtesy of Kahlief Adams. Theme music by Cy Tru (edited by Macedonia). 

Background music: Charlie Dreaming - Soft Hypnotic qpe - milk Ezekiel Honig - Plastic Rumblings Vanity (Instrumental) by BADLUCK (CC BY 4.0).

Other key info: Macedonia on Mixcloud BSOTS on Bondfire Radio Queue Points Episodes 77 and 78 Hip-Hop Can Save America:  Parents Just Don't Understand

Another BSOTS podcast episode for the people...

[aboutanancientenquiry]

When the legendary singer Iqbal Bano sang a poem of hope of the great poet Faiz Ahmed Faiz, defying the ban of his work by a military dictatorship (Pakistan, 1985)

“Remebering Faiz Ahmed Faiz - Ham DekheN ge (Iqbal Bano 1985 recording)

I wish i was also part of this crowd. Rarely has just one song, in a single performance, Immortalized a singer. In the case of Iqbal Bano's rendition of Faizs' ghazal 'Hum Dekhenge' in Lahore, in front of more than fifty thousand people, rousing them to a frenzy unparallel while daring the oppressive regime of Zia Ul Haq... 'Jab arze khuda he K'abe se Sab but uthwaye jaayengee Hum ahle safa mardood e haram masnad pe bithaye jayenge Sab taaj Uchhale jayenge sab takht giraye jayenge..Hum Dekhenge...' was such a moment. For those blessed people who were present at that venue the moment has passed. But she will no doubt live amongst us for ever through her magical voice, and music. The privileged who have heard her music are aware that even without that one evening, or that performance, the wealth of her music, she will always be remembered as one of the 'Greats' Her voice is melodious no doubt, her expertise phenomenal, her performances soul stirring; but towering above them all is her virtuosity in being able to transfer her belief in what she sings to the listener, which makes her one of a kind.

Lyrics 

Hum Dekhenge 

Faiz Ahmed Faiz 

 Hum dekhenge/ Lazim hai ke hum bhi dekhenge/Wo din ke jis ka wada hai /Jo lauh-e-azl mein likha hai 

 Jab zulm-o-sitam ke koh-e-garan/ Rooi ki tarah ur jaenge/ Hum mehkoomon ke paaon tale/ Ye dharti dhar dhar dharkegi /Aur ahl-e-hakam ke sar oopar/ Jab bijli kar kar karkegi 

 Jab arz-e-Khuda ke kaabe se/ Sab but uthwae jaenge/ Hum ahl-e-safa mardood-e-harm/ Masnad pe bethae jaenge/ Sab taaj uchale jaenge/ Sab takht girae jaenge 

 Bas naam rahega Allah ka/ Jo ghayab bhi hai hazir bhi/ Jo manzar bhi hai nazir bhi/ Utthega an-al-haq ka nara/ Jo mai bhi hoon tum bhi ho /Aur raaj karegi Khalq-e-Khuda/ Jo mai bhi hoon aur tum bhi ho

My Translation 

 We shall Witness/ It is certain that we too, shall witness/ the day that has been promised/ of which has been written on the slate of eternity 

 When the enormous mountains of tyranny/ blow away like cotton./ Under our feet- the feet of the oppressed- /when the earth will pulsate deafeningly/ and on the heads of our rulers/ when lightning will strike. 

 From the abode of God/ When icons of falsehood will be taken out,/ When we- the faithful- who have been barred out of sacred places/ will be seated on high cushions/  When the crowns will be tossed,/ When the thrones will be brought down. 

 Only The name will survive/ Who cannot be seen but is also present/ Who is the spectacle and the beholder, both/ I am the Truth- the cry will rise,/ Which is I, as well as you/ And then God’s creation will rule/ Which is I, as well as you”

From the youtube channel MTauseefAmin-  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74EV_DcYsDQ

Faiz Ahmed Faiz (1911-1984) is recognized as the greatest poet of Pakistan (he wrote mostly in Urdu, but also in Punjabi). A communist, he spent several years in prison and exile because of his beliefs and his poems have been banned by the right-wing, USA-backed dictatorship of Zia Ul Hak (in power since the military coup of 1977 till 1988). But Faiz was also a person imbued since his childhood with the religious tradition and culture of his country. That’s why his famous poem of this post (a nazm in Urdu) uses so much religious symbolism, especially symbolism from Sufism, the mystical tradition of Islam, stressing the deeper unity of all things with God and blending religious and revolutionary expectations. 

“An-al Hak” (I am the Truth) was the exclamation of the great Persian Muslim mystic Mansur al-Hallaj, which has beeng considered by the political and religious authorities of tenth century (CE) Baghdad as tantamount to self-deification and utter blasphemy, with as result that Hallaj has been condemned to a very painful death. Although many Sufis believed that he acted without precaution with this exclamation of his, Mansur al-Hallaj is seen as one of the greatest mystical figures of Islam.

Iqbal Bano (1935-2009) was an iconic Pakistani ghazal and thumri singer.  Perhaps the culminating moment in her career was when in 1985 she sang in Lahore before an enthusiastic crowd poems of Faez Ahmed Faez and above all Hum Dekhenge, defying the ban of the work of Faez by the regime of the dictator Zia Ul Hak.

[antoine-roquentin]

All that changed last year. In July 2020, Al Arz, a Palestinian-owned tahini company, sparked a public controversy — including among the Joint List MKs — after it donated proceeds to an Israeli LGBTQ organization. That same month, a preliminary reading of a bill banning conversion therapy — a harmful, pseudo-scientific method that treats homosexuality as a mental illness that can be cured — passed in the Knesset with the help of three Joint List MKs (Ayman Odeh, Aida Touma-Suleiman, and Ofer Cassif). The rest of the List either abstained or voted against the bill.

Although the bill was not the first to promote LGBTQ rights, the Islamist Ra’am faction, led by Mansour Abbas, for the first time openly criticized MKs who supported such legislation. Ra’am eventually broke off from the Joint List, due ostensibly in part to their disagreements over LGBTQ rights, and due to Ra’am’s overtures to Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu....

[Q: ]So slamming LGBTQ rights is simply a matter of political convenience for the Islamists?

[A: ]Yes. The internal rifts have highlighted the differences between the various Palestinian factions, instead of playing them down in the name of intra-Palestinian unity.

At the same time, one cannot disconnect this political shift from the newly acquired visibility of LGBTQ issues. This visibility goes way beyond the Knesset. In 2019, for the first time, we saw a Palestinian LGBTQ demonstration in Haifa, which was repeated in 2020, and was attended by MK Aida Touma-Suleiman and other well-known public figures from the Palestinian community. Following these protests, it was no longer possible to claim that we do not exist.

Now, as we approach the elections, LGBTQ rights have become a kind of litmus test in Palestinian society. Now that Palestinian parties are competing with each other, the rhetoric has become focused on Palestinian tradition, belief systems, and who really embodies these values as a way to maintain support among more conservative Palestinian circles.

[Q: ]This is what Ahmad Tibi is effectively doing right now.

[A: ]Tibi is just the most visible example. In December, the Secretary-General of Hadash [the left-wing Arab-Jewish party] Mansour Dahamshe gave an interview in which he stated that his party’s position on the conversion bill does not constitute an endorsement of LGBTQ rights, and that Hadash doesn’t support LGBTQ rights.

So even if you have someone like Aida Touma-Suleiman who is very coherent and consistent in their support, you still have voices within the more progressive and liberal parts of the Joint List that stutter when it comes to LGBTQ rights. At the end of the day, apart from Touma-Suleiman, you really don’t have anyone in the Joint List who openly supports queer rights.

There are different kinds of homophobia that exist among the Palestinian political parties in Israel. First there is ideological homophobia, which is rooted in a deep-seated belief that homosexuality is a sin. Then you have liberal or strategic homophobia; in private settings, strategic homophobes are actually willing to admit that LGBTQ rights are human rights, but in their public statements they are much more conservative. This kind of strategizing is prevalent in times of elections.

Then there are people like former Balad Chairman Mtanes Shehadeh, who was attacked by progressive Palestinians over his party’s absence from the vote over the conversion therapy bill, since their entire platform is based on human rights. This forced Shehadeh to say that his party doesn’t politicize LGBTQ issues, and the place for Palestinian society to settle intra-Palestinian social issues is not the Knesset, but the High Follow-Up Committee [an umbrella organization that represents the country’s Palestinian citizens].

[Q: ]Yet there are Palestinian leaders both inside and outside the Knesset who are speaking out in favor of LGBTQ rights.

[A: ]Right. For example, after a young teenage Palestinian was stabbed by his brother in a homophobic hate crime in 2019, only Aida Touma-Suleiman and Haneen Zoabi, two Palestinian politicians, clearly condemned this. For the past two years, Touma-Suleiman has been the only person who has been consistent, yet despite her commitment to human rights, we still haven’t seen any statement [from her] responding to Tibi’s remarks. It seems she is trying to refrain from saying anything because of the implications it could have on the elections.